I got asked that question and I sat there for a moment.
Clearly, the answer was no.
Love should be given freely, without expectations.
God & Man
Without rules or expectations.
Without trying too hard.
But in every relationship I found myself in, I found myself trying really hard to win them over.
God & Man
Trying really hard to prove it was their love I deserved or rather their love I had to earn.
Id go for people who didnt have feelings for me and I thought I could change their mind.
Someone elses love shouldnt have been something I set out to prove I deserved.
Someone taught you love is something they can give and take away when you mess up.
As a result the effect its had on you is overcompensating to prove you deserve their love.
I thought back to every extreme gesture I ever did for people.
I looked back and these common themes hit me between the eyes.
Someone who plays games and messes with their head.
Love isnt saying sorry after you get yelled at.
Love isnt derived fromfear and power.
Love comes bearing no threats or manipulation or blackmail.
Love does not knock you down even if they build you back up.
Love does not belittle you to make them feel better.
Love and control dont go together.
Love does not critic you just so they feel better about their own flaws.
Love does not blame you for their actions or outburst.
Love does not blame you for everything.
Do not feel guilty for a recurring theme of what might have been bad relationships in your past.
Understand sometimes the things we learn arent right.
But we can use that to learn what is.
Do not feel foolish if youve gravitated towards relationships where youve always been the one fighting.
What you might do from here though is start fighting for yourself.
Recognize the pattern and learn to change it.
