By
Updated 5 years ago,April 3, 2020
Ive tried everything.
Herbal supplements, meditation, nature sounds, breath work.
My mind wont let me rest, though every last portion of me pleads with sullen groans for relief.
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Clarity seemed within reach.
Now, I toss and turn, suddenly overheated in a room where I usually shiver without multiple blankets.
My eyelids hang heavy and yet my overactive brain summons up one memory of you after another.
One sweet gesture after another.
How am I helpless against my own mental torture?
I felt happier there with you than I ever have since.
I loved you with my whole heart when you never gave me more than a portion of your own.
I live to break my own heart, over and over and over again.
I felt safe there in a way that I rarely ever do.
You saw me, and you accepted me, and you loved me.
I dont know if Im ever going to stop loving you, not really.
You were my dream come true, notwithstanding your inevitable humanity.
You were the one who exposed my true self and left me shivering there, afraid but trusting.
And then you were the one who walked away.
