You want to start it again, armed with the knowledge that making certain moves will change your future.
Maybe if you dont go there, that wont happen.
Maybe if you dont have that experience, youll see things differently.
Emiliano Vittoriosi
Its possible that the memory is the thing causing you to bound and tether yourself to this path.
Sometimes you just stare out of the window, daydreaming about a different life.
Then someone or something pulls you back to reality and you have to smile and pretend youre okay.
Admitting the truth is a conversation you dont wish to have.
Forever held as a secret part of your identity.
Sometimes you just want to throw out all of your morals and do whatever you want.
Money suddenly means nothing, so you spend every penny youve got on something outrageous.
You grab the forbidden jar of biscuits because fuck it, you want to eat every single one.
Who cares if your favourite jeans wont fit anymore?
Who are you trying to impress?
You have no inclination to care.
Today you feel like hell and you dont want to fake a smile.
Because anywhere has to be better than heading to a destination with no room to breathe.
Sometimes, when all is done and youve burned yourself out, you just lie in bed and cry.
You think of everything youve ever wanted and let the woeful tears fall from your eyes.
Why is this my life?
What happened to me?
Where is my life going?
Why cant I see?
And then something changes and you grind to a halt.
Something flickers in the distance a beckoning finger, a light in the dark calling on you to come.
A glimpse of a life you want plays out.
And, for once, its not in your head.
Youre there and its real.
This time though, the tears that fall are wanted.
Oh, how long you have waited for this moment.
The one you thought could only remain in your heart.
So you smile and you dance, rejoicing as a long-hidden part of you is finally set free.
This is what you wanted.
This is what you longed for.
And now youre in the midst of the moment, you dont want it to ever go.
But it doesnt stay.
And now its gone.
Again, time is up.
Reality is calling you.
Yet, when you turn back, theres a new thought in play.
A memory now forged.
One you cannot betray.
Because sometimes, life isnt perfect, and our futures seem set.
But as long as we have hope, the games not over yet.
