What I learned sometimes people need to grow about before they have any chance of growing back together.
Sometimes its only after you truly lose someone do you understand their value.
And if youre lucky, if youre really lucky you find your way back to each other again.
Troy Freyee
One I couldnt seem to let go of.
One that was a part of every big moment in my past, in every picture.
He was everything I regretted.
Troy Freyee
Everything I blamed myself for.
Every memory I replayed in my head wondering why he left.
I realized, fixating upon the past wasnt going to change my future.
But everywhere I went I saw him.
In the pieces of myself, I saw him there too.
He was no exception to that.
Over time even I got used to leading a life without him.
Its hard to explain something you struggle to understand yourself.
Youre so much better without him, Id hear on repeat.
And its nice to hear but not when you dont believe it.
Because what if there are some people you arent better off without.
And every year there were certain dates he completely robbed me of.
Left only to think of him throughout the day.
Every year I sent another birthday card hoping maybe hed answer.
Sometimes I wonder if healing was easier because we removed each other from social media.
Erasing every part of our past like it didnt happen at all.
But there is a heartbreak to that too.
Theres heartbreak to remembering how good things were.
Remembering how easily you fit into each others lives.
And just when I was on my two feet again in a new city, with new friendsit happened.
It started with a follow.
Then meeting up for lunch.
When you havent seen someone in years you dont know what to expect.
Hundreds of questions ran through my mind.
My room looked like a bomb went off changing outfits and doing double takes.
But even your best outfit.
Your best hair day.
Your best makeup job doesnt leave you confident when its the one person who broke your heart the worst.
And there I was standing 10 minutes early waiting.
A simple embrace that felt like it was everything I had been missing.
The conversation that didnt seem forced or awkward.
And all I kept wondering is how after all this time are we here having lunch.
Here was the one person I thought hurt me more than anyone only this time it didnt hurt.
Then it does and its not what you thought it would be, its so much more.
I knew to be wary of old flames.
I knew to be skeptical of people from the past that hurt me.
But there was something about him I trusted.
And as we parted ways and he said hed see me again I knew he actually meant it.
What I learned sometimes people need to grow a part before they have any chance of growing back together.
Sometimes its only after you truly lose someone do you understand their value.
And if youre lucky, if youre really lucky you find your way back to each other again.
