Sometimes people cling to unhealthy relationships not because they lack confidence or have bad taste.
When you meet the right person suddenly you have something to lose.
You begin with anticipating the worst.
Yoann Boyer
You expect this person to turn out to be just like your exes.
You expect this act in the beginning to end.
You expect there suddenly to be a shift.
Yoann Boyer
What throws you off is this person continually shows you the best.
This person continues to treat you well.
And in return you doubt them.
You question their motives.
You test them over and over and they keep passing.
You dont trust yourself and so you tiptoe around this person just wondering when the other shoe might drop.
Your doubt they meet with confidence.
Youve never known someone who was sure of you.
With toxic relationships they kept you pining after them.
Your anxiety doesnt bother them.
When youre in a toxic relationship you become so careful with the things you do and say.
Because at any moment the toxic person will pick and choose anything they can to be upset with you.
In doing so it made you really paranoid.
It made you second guess yourself.
But this new relationship understands why you worry.
You push them away and they dont leave.
When you come out of toxic relationships everything is like a test you pass or fail.
So you try harder to appease them only it doesnt work.
This teaches you to test everyone else in your life.
Youre scared to get close to someone.
Youre scared to let someone in.
Your response comes down to one of two things fight or flight.
And since this relationship isnt one youre fighting in you take off out of fear.
Youre used to pushing people away and everyone else has let you go.
But this new relationship doesnt make it that easy.
You almost fear something going right.
Sometimes people cling to unhealthy relationships not because they lack confidence or have bad taste.
When you meet the right person suddenly you have something to lose.
You begin to trust them as well as yourself.
Suddenly this thing is the real deal and its terrifying.
And as much as you resist it, they are getting through to you.
You then fear losing this person.
Suddenly you go from fear of having someone to fear of losing them.
You try too hard.
You apologize too often.
The after effects of toxic relationships are just that.
You start clinging to this relationship.
But unlike the other relationships youve had this person is just as invested in you as you are them.
So it doesnt feel like you are losing yourself to this relationship.
You dont fear those three words anymore.
Convinced you could change how someone felt or the outcome you both knew was enviable of an ending.
You used to say I love you to these people, thinking love would make someone stay.
Thinking love was trying too hard for someone.
Giving love away to others like it wasnt something to value.
And loving everyone the way you should have loved yourself.
You said those three words over and over never to hear them and you began to fear it.
Rejecting love like that was the problem rather than the people you were choosing to give it too.
But this person says it first and says it confidently.
