You cant put into words how painful it will be to lose them.
You feel hollow, and weak, like you cant trust yourself to keep standing.
You feel an emptiness that you know will stay with you long after this goodbye.
Daria Shevstova
All of the love you shared sends electric currents through your skin.
All you want to do is hold onto this moment forever.
You want to pause time while they are still them, and you are still you.
More than anything you wish you could pretend that everything is okay.
You wish you could reach for their hand, to reassure them that nothing is wrong.
But you could only trick yourself for so long.
The tears rushing down your cheeks are harsh reminders that this is really happening.
Mascara runs in fine lines down your face, and you struggle just to catch your breath.
Despite the tears, you dont want to go.
You dont want to lift your hand off of their forearm.
You dont want to let go of him.
But you know you have to leave at some point tonight.
You know, deep down, that staying wont make it any better.
So you take a mental snapshot of their face.
You take a stab at burn their voice into your brain, so you never forget it.
You feel the warmth of their body and wish you could stay in this embrace forever.
But you cant think of words that could come close to sharing how special they were to you.
You cant put into words how painful it will be to lose them.
You sit in your car, wondering if perhaps you could have done something differently.
Maybe if you had just said the right words, they would have stayed.
Maybe if you had loved them a little bit differently, they would still be your person.
Maybe if you had just been better, this could have been your one true love story.
But you know that words wouldnt have changed this.
You know that there was nothing you could have done to have made this last.
You know this was probably fate all along.
Beneath the crippling hurt, you remind yourself that an infinity of love stories still exists in this universe.
You remind yourself that it wont feel this hard forever.
You remind yourself that this pain does not mean that this ending was a mistake.
The constellations werent in your favor.
This love was never supposed to be your happy ending.
Looking up through your windshield at night sky you see the bright full moon casting light down on you.
You see that even in your sadness, the sky is still gorgeous.
And somehow, this reassures you that you are going to be okay.
And though this love has ended it was still a privilege for you to love them.
It was still a gift to share a corner of the world with them.
You will always be thankful for this little infinity.
