But maybe I don’t really need those things after all.
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Updated 4 years ago,March 8, 2021
I turn 25 in a month and three days.
A MONTH AND THREE DAYS!
Konstantin Kopachinsky
25 seems so legit.
So scary but also kind of comforting?
A birthday is always a nice starting point to be someone else.
25 seemed so grown up to me when I was 17.
It seemed still, so foreign to me when I was 20.
And now, a month shy from 25, its honestly hard to believe.
Konstantin Kopachinsky
25 to me, used to mean finally becoming a grown up.
It used to mean having all my shit together.
Like maybe having furniture that was actually brand new.
Like maybe shopping at Macys instead of Forever 21.
Or maybe actually being in a healthy relationship that was longterm instead of crushing on random bartenders.
And having a puppy to call my own.
None of that has happened yet.
But the thing is, I feel perfectly fine with my life right now.
Sure, I dont have the fancy things I thought I would have by now.
Sure, I dont have a wonderful boyfriend.
Sure, I dont have a cute fluffy puppy of my own.
And I dont even have a car.
But Ive still come far.
Ive still grown into a better person than I was a year ago.
Im still learning and breathing and surviving.
Im still learning how to thrive.
Ive made lots of mistakes.
Ive pissed people off.
Ive said the wrong things.
Ive loved the wrong people.
Ive hated the right people.
Ive experienced loss and loss again.
Ive been lazy and unmotivated.
Ive been numb, and Ive also felt everything.
Ive been bright and sparkly, but Ive also been dull.
Always evolving into a person I want to be proud of.
And Im still learning how to love myself.
But maybe I dont really need those things after all.
Because Im almost 25, and I still feel like a kid.
I dont need the material things I thought I would want.
I dont need the boyfriend or the house.
I dont need even stability.
I just need to keep experiencing everything.
The good and the bad.
The bright and the gloomy.
I just need to keep going.
Maybe Ill just be happy to justbe.
