I didn’t think I was the kind of girl who would get noticed.
I didnt think anyone was going to agree to date me.
I didnt think anyone was attracted to me, mentally or physically.
Hannah Skelly
I didnt think anyone would settle for someone like me when they had a million other, better options.
I had a hard time imagining someone smiling at a text written by me.
I couldnt picture someone excitedly running to their friends to talk about me either.
I thought putting myself out there and flirting with someone cute would end in me embarrassing myself.
I assumed everyone saw me the same way I saw myself unattractive, undesirable, unlovable.
Even when someone showed interest in me, I convinced myself I was reading their signals wrong.
I convinced myself they were only being friendly and they must treat everyone the same as they treated me.
I thought it was impossible for anyone to fall for me.
I didnt think I was the kind of girl who would get noticed.
I didnt want to send a text and end up onread.
I didnt want to ask someone on a date and get turned down.
I didnt even want to smile at someone in case they looked at me weird instead of smiling back.
I hovered inside my comfort zone.
I told all of my friends about crushes instead of letting the actual crushes in on my feelings.
I didnt flirt with anyone.
I didnt join dating apps.
I didnt let anyone get to know me.
I closed myself off.
I locked my heart away.
I stayed single for such a long period of time because everything about relationships scared me.
Letting someone see the real me sounded scary.
Sleeping with someone sounded scary.
Getting cheated on sounded scary.
Getting dumped sounded scary.
It seemed easier to stay single than to get myself invested in someone who would most likely hurt me.
I thought building walls around my heart would help protect me.
I thought it would save me from pain but thats not the way it worked.
I ended up getting attached to people I never even dated.
I ended up crying my eyes out over people who didnt even know about my feelings for them.
I ended up hurting myself by isolating myself.
Im slowly learning wearing your heart on your sleeve can pay off.
