Our expectations today are at an all time high, and our patience at an all time low.
This is meant to give our lives meaning and stability in a world where uncertainty reigns supreme.
If you think this is because you havent searched far or wide enough, think again.
Elena Taranenko
Our expectations today are at an all-time high, and our patience at an all-time low.
So why is it that we search for something that might not exist?
The Way We Look at Marriage Has Changed
Relationships over time have changed.
In fifth-century Rome, marriage was elevated to a holy union by the Catholic Church.
It wasnt until the 17th or 18th century that romance came into the picture for our marital unions.
This gave them an extra independence from parental intervention and reliance.
In the article How Intimate Relationships Have Changed and Where Does that Leave us Now?
He follows that later with, no longer do people settle just settle for companionship or what isgood enough.
Some people even declare that they are looking for their soulmate, and refuse to settle for anything less.
In Beauty and the Beast, Belle presents outwardly with clinical definitions of Stockholm Syndrome.
This is not even taking into consideration the crossover of interspecies romance.
Snow White blurs the definition of consent and glorifies necrophilia.
The Little Mermaid preaches that you should go to extreme measures to be someone youre not.
Also, inter-species again.
Christian Grey outright admits to his sadism and expects Anna to conform to his contractual desires.
He is a broken man who needs to be fixed by the right woman.
Enter Anna, stage left.
All of this flows into a false idea of masculinity.
And lets also talk about a world-wide favorite,The Notebook.
Noah becomes romantically obsessed with Allie, and when she says no, he threatens to take his life.
He completely disrespects her boundaries and consent.
Social media provides a wonderful platform for us to connect with others.
Bumble alone has 40 million users, according to theDMR statistics.
Tinder has an estimated 50 million.
We learn less about self-soothing and introspection when refuse to take anything less than the best.
Are our desires for our relationship really something that we need from another person?
The question that follows is, are any of those characteristics things that I can develop within myself?
Am I looking for someone to satisfy my shortcomings?
We tend to shunt our communities as the underlying support for emotional needs in lieu of our newest infatuation.
So, What Now?
If all of this sounds like were screwed, youre right.
Studies show that our real-life conversations are the ones that foster deep and meaningful connection.
To learn what it is to foster a self-love that is unswayed by popular opinion.
This might also be the time to mention that our needs are paradoxical.
Esther Perel, in her bookMating in Captivitytalks of the two opposing forces: freedom and comfort.
To accurately perceive what isourprojection and what istheirtrue identity.
This is the reality of it.
But perhaps the most important relationship that is needed so you can find this partner, is yourself.
You need not look any further for that truly deep acceptance.
You have everything you need right here.
