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Updated 4 years ago,June 6, 2021
Jake yelped with fright when his friend first spoke.
He thought he was alone when he heard that disembodied voice from the darkness.
At least, thats how it was since they moved into the new place.
cottonbro
Dont be scared, the voice said, gently.
She looked to have been about Jakes age or even younger, though she was taller than him.
She was also very small, but Jake thought her eyes made her look smarter.
She was pale and pretty, but she was also stick thin and covered in dirt.
Her hair was so blonde and dingy that it was really no color at all.
She grinned at him and right away she lost the ancient look in her eyes.
Just a regular girl.
Jake said, suppressing a quaver in his voice.
His heart was still pounding, although he was already beginning to feel ashamed.
Imagine, being so frightened of a kid half his size, for cripes sake.
Not to mention a girl!
Maybe she was shy?
Also with an e, I guess.
Oh yeah, Ashe said, laughing, I guess thats right.
What are you doing down here?
I live down here, Ashe said, Among the boxes.
It was his catchphrase.
No one lives down here except bugs and peoples old junk.
And snakes, maybe.
Anyways, pirates have a ship.
You just have a sword.
Ive got a ship!
Oh no, me hearty!
None else, says I!
Jake retorted, swinging his plastic machete in response.
He hadnt been playing pirate before, He was playing campground killer.
He saw a movie recently on late night TV, which left him both terrified and fascinated.
Tis I, Ashe exclaimed, Captain Ashe Crossbones of the pirate ship The Heartless Wench!
I be Scurvy… Lurvy!
It was a wonder no one had found it and forced her to take it down.
By the time it had occurred to Jake to check his watch, it was already alarmingly late.
If she didnt miss the four oclock bus his mother could be home in as few as ten minutes.
His heart began to pound in his chest again.
What if she came home and he wasnt there?
What if she refused to let him back in?
I gotta go!
He exclaimed, already turning to find the stairs, My moms gonna be home any minute!
Ashe said, grabbing him by the shoulder.
He turned back to her and she crowed, You forgot your share of the booty, me hearty!
She ran into the ship and rustled around for a moment, finally emerging with a small package.
She thrust it into his hands.
You earned it, lad!
She told him, Keep it up and Ill have you promoted to first mate.
He gave her his best Yo ho!
He was a smart enough kid to know to cover his tracks.
He glanced around to ensure nothing was out of place.
Satisfied, it finally occurred to him to see what was his cut of the pirate booty.
He peered into the paper bag and found it to be full of snacks.
A pack of peanut butter cups, a bag of spicy cheese curls, and a stick of jerky.
He ate them anyway.
It was the first thing he had eaten since his lunch at school on Friday.
She stood at the kitchen sink and drank two glasses of water back to back.
She cocked her head to the side as though she were trying to hear something Jake could not.
He did not see her again until sundown the next day.
By then it had begun to feel like a good thing.
Or it would have, if not for the terrible knot in his stomach.
A bag of junk food wasnt much of a replacement for real food, he was surprised to learn.
Whatever change came over his mother seemed to coincide with her big breakup.
They had been living with her boyfriend, Shawn, for several months prior to moving to The Lyndon.
Jake didnt think much of Shawn.
Jake didnt even have his own room at Shawns place.
They just made him sleep on the couch.
It terrified him, nonetheless.
A few tense days passed and Jake found himself a third party to several more hushed and angry conversations.
Jake was excited, initially.
It was a two bedroom apartment!
Or a mattress at least.
The best part, as far as Jake was concerned, was how little Shawn the new apartment contained.
It didnt take long for his excitement to curdle into dread.
When they first moved into The Lyndon (and it had only been two weeks!)
she mostly cried a lot.
He never saw her do it, but he could hear her sometimes through the walls.
The screaming, though, that wasnt okay.
His first thoughts were of Shawn, or rather his first thought was that he was still asleep.
He was still young enough to wish to be the hero of such a story.
He crossed the narrow hall trailing his fingertips along the wall to find his way.
The lights were out and it was terribly dark.
Shawns place had more windows.
She lay in her bed gasping with the covers tossed aside in the summer heat.
He gasped, mostly in embarrassment, but it caused his mother to snap her gaze upon him.
He opened his mind mouth to speak, but she cut him off.
Get out of here, dammit!
She said, raggedly, making terrible little sounds in her throat.
Gagging, he realized.
She pulled down at the hem of her gown but made no move otherwise.
Abruptly she snapped her eyes back up to Jakes and shouted, Get out!
Cant you understand I dont want to see you?
He fled, choking on his own tears but too frightened and confused to cry out.
His mother had never refused him so utterly before.
The next morning Jake awoke to the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut.
He felt terrible from lack of sleep and his face was still raw from all the crying.
Rubbing the crust from his eyes, he looked at his clock.
It was digital, which was good because he still had trouble reading analog clocks.
He was alarmed to see it was already after nine.
He had missed the bus and a feeling of panic bloomed in his chest.
He threw open his dresser, grabbed an outfit mostly at random, and got himself dressed.
He had never been so late for school and assumed the consequences of doing so would be dire indeed.
His only comfort at the time was the knowledge that his mother would know what to do.
He said, blearily, I missed the bus.
She only looked at him, her face distorted and ugly.
Expressions of grief and disgust mixed and mingled and vied for control.
He asked, moving to reach for her arm.
She recoiled from his touch as though fearing the bite of a snake.
She snarled, stumbling back against the counter.
She knocked over the bag of instant coffee crystals, spilling the contents onto the floor.
Get out of here, you filthy little shit!
Jake bawled, and took a tentative step forward.
She only shrieked in response and threw her coffee cup at him.
It bounced off his cheek and he shrieked too, in surprise and pain rather than fear.
Get out of here!
She screamed, throwing everything she could get her hands on.
He did not see this, however, as he had already dashed out the front door.
As most young boys are, however, Jake was a terrible liar.
He thought at the time he had gotten away scot-free.
Instead, he had only set in motion the ponderous wheels of bureaucracy.
When he returned home from school, he did so with great trepidation.
When that time had finally arrived, he found mother had returned to some measure of her old self.
She actually smiled when she saw him.
The fear and anxiety sloughed off him almost like a physical thing, a snake skin.
she said, smiling still, Sorry I was a bit of a crank this morning.
Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess.
I guess its just been a tough time for both of us.
Its okay, Jake said, on the verge of relieved tears.
Perhaps she did not hate him after all!
She asked, reaching for her phone.
He said, and that was that.
For a short while.
Maybe, he dared to think, he dreamed the whole thing.
He told his teacher and the school nurse that someone had thrown a rock at him on the playground.
He didnt see who.
For the next couple of days he believed the bad times to be over.
She welcomed his presence, his touch.
She did not shrink away.
He knew he had not just dreamed her attack, so what had come over her?
Would it come over him again?
She did not seem to realize he had awoken and so her expression remained unchanged.
It was one of clear repulsion and of stark terror.
His head bounced off the wall, dazing him.
What have you done!
She screamed, What did you do with him?
For a time he was certain she meant to kill him, to strangle him dead.
He gasped and struggled and plead for release with his eyes.
Eventually she did, and fell back to the floor, her head hanging between her knees.
She began to sob.
What have you done?
She repeated this over and over again as Jake moaned and cocooned himself inside his blankets.
After a time, she left, unheeded.
This began a strange cycle of neglect and abuse followed by ever shortening periods of relative normality.
Relative being the operative term.
There was a desperation and a mad fear underneath that he could not begin to understand.
The ever lengthening bad times drove him to fend for himself, ill equipped though he was.
Nothing, however, could protect Jake from the complete dismantling of his support system.
He needed his mother on a fundamental level, but he was terrified she would hurt him again.
He was quickly heading for a hopeless collapse when he met Ashe.
The second time he met Ashe, she showed him a miracle.
The second time he met Ashe, he needed a miracle more than anything.
Jake was downstairs that day because a short time ago he learned of the downstairs residents lounge.
They never seemed to welcome his presence, which did not surprise him.
For one reason or another, adults did not trust an unaccompanied minor.
He wasnt interested in spending time with them, of course.
He was after their leavings.
Any time any of them spent any length of time in the common room they would invariably have snacks.
He was not above sneaking half a bag of chips or the last Oreo out of the trash.
This time his search proved uncharacteristically fruitless.
Pretzel-less for that matter.
By then he was used to disappointment, but this small defeat proved to be Jakes breaking point.
It would not be long before they disappeared entirely.
He had no idea what hed do then.
It was her, peeking through the doorway, hissing surreptitiously for his attention.
Again, her extreme thinness stunned him.
Her eyes and her cheeks were both hollow and pale.
Her limbs were long and dirty, but so delicate.
Somehow he didnt think so.
She was like an elf, he thought.
She was like the elves from that old movie about the ring.
Jake with an E, She whispered, beckoning.
So it was a spy game.
Jake liked that sort of thing.
Being a small and quiet child, he was excellent at going unnoticed.
As Ashe scanned the hall left and right, Jake began to craft his super spy persona.
He wasnt sure why, but he thought it should be a color and an animal.
He looked down at his shirt as Ashe pulled him down the hallway.
A sentry had to be subdued with a knockout dart.
Until they reached the checkpoint, they were sitting ducks.
She thrust a cap gun into his hand and soberly advised him to shoot to kill.
There was a click and she darted her eyes at him, seeking the all-clear.
He nodded back to Ashe and she opened the door, pulling him down into the basement safe zone.
By then he had already forgotten about his hunger and other nebulous fears.
The shootout ended with them both riddled with bullets, the prized Emerald Bearloom resting in his palm.
Ashe insisted he should have it, and he insisted they should share.
Jake felt terrible taking the massive gummy bear away from her.
He had never seen one so big, and it fairly boggled his mind.
It came in a box all by itself.
In the end she relented and agreed to share, and he was glad.
She was so skinny, Jake figured she must be the only kid hungrier than he was.
He ate all of that, too.
Perhaps it could be blamed on all the sugar, but he had a terrible nightmare that night.
It mewled and snapped at him as he tore at the sweet, cloying flesh.
It snapped at him, but he did not stop.
He ate it, bones and all.
Ashe was in the nightmare, too, but it wasnt Ashe.
It was a cruel copy that grinned and goaded at him all throughout his gruesome repast.
Its eyes were empty black holes.
They were the last thing he saw before he woke up.
The next day and night, nothing much happened.
Two nights later, his mother had one of her own nightmares.
Thats not what woke Jake up, however.
He only had to pee.
He thought thats what he heard, but she sounded strange.
Was she talking on the phone?
It wasnt like her to be awake this late.
He decided not to worry about it.
She finally bought food!
So was the expression on her face when she looked at him.
He could ignore the lingering fear seeping into the edges.
A kind of sick, green static.
No, it was a vibration.
Thats what Jake thought.
Just a momentary vibration, and then it was gone.
He entered the bathroom and set to his business.
It was a vibration and it wasnt green at all.
All the while, through the wall he could hear the nightmare taking hold in his mother.
He banished the thought as quickly as he could.
Everything felt wrong and bad, like the air was full of poison.
Abruptly, his mothers moans and refusals ceased, and all was quiet again.
The last few stubborn drops of urine finally passed, and he pulled up his pajamas.
He was standing at the sink washing his hands when the bathroom door flew open.
His mother stared down at him, her initial expression of alarm twisted into one of loathing.
Nothing happened for five endless seconds, and then: Chaos.
his mother screamed down at him, thrusting something round into his chest.
It knocked the wind out of him and propelled him roughly into the bathtub.
He saw a blinding light that faded into green static until fading into terrible clarity.
She held it with the point down like a ninja dagger.
In her other hand, she had a heavy pot lid.
She froze, her lips curling back and her knuckles whitening around the handle of the weapon.
The words felt trapped in his throat, and forcing them out required great effort.
She screeched, lunging at him with the knife raised for a killing stroke.
It should have been a killing stroke, too.
The bathroom tiles were without a rug and extremely slick.
She went down, hard, slamming her wrist against the edge of the bathtub.
His mother writhed on the floor, clutching her wrist and crying out loud.
He jumped past her and dashed into the living room.
His plan did not take shape until he heard her in the bathroom climbing back to her feet.
He needed to get out of there.
Bring him back to me, you filthy little bastard!
He ran out the door with nothing but his pajamas, flame retardant flannel patterned with howling Chewbaccas.
In the hallway, all was still and dark.
That was lucky, at least.
Another stroke of luck, he observed, the basement was unlocked again.
He had some abstract plan to pick the lock, but it had little hope of success.
He didnt even have a gift card.
At the foot of the stairs, Jake passed by the washing machine.
He avoided its gaze and set forth through the storage warren and into the parts beyond.
The pirate ship would serve as a makeshift bed.
He would spend the night down there and perhaps in the morning he would find answers.
Bring him back.Thats what she said to him.Youre not him.She must have blamed him for her breakup with Shawn.
Maybe Shawn didnt want to be stuck with someone elses kid.
That must have been why she hated him.
She wanted to get rid of him so she could have Shawn back.
He meditated on this miserably, following his feet through the dusty basement.
Soon he reached that forgotten corner of the basement where the Pirate Ship sailed, except it was gone.
Something better had replaced it.
If it wasnt a miracle, it was a marvel.
A marvel of kid engineering.
To call it a pillow fort would have been a disservice.
To call it a treehouse would have been close but fundamentally inaccurate.
She had even threaded Christmas lights through the structure, so that it emitted an ethereal, particolored glow.
He could climb inside and pull up the ladder, and be safe there.
At the top was a sort of pillow-filled clubhouse, warm and welcoming.
His eyes grew heavy at the sight of it.
He was too tired to be bothered, however.
In moments, he was asleep.
Jake thought again that she looked like an Elf.
She was beautiful, but it was a sad beauty.
It was a strange thought, but strange thoughts came in dreams, didnt they?
She must have known he had awakened, because she said, Its not right, what they do.
Jake didnt know what to say.
He tried to conceptualize hating his mother, and immediately a hot ball formed in his throat.
I cant, he choked out at last.
You have to, She said, turning to him.
Her eyes blazed, cutting through the mellow glow like fog lamps.
You cant make that mistake.
Jake didnt say anything for a long time.
He pulled his knees up to his chest watched all the moments flash through his mind.
More than anything he saw his mothers lip curl with all the hate boiling inside her mind.
She really would have killed him.
If she hadnt slipped she would have cut him to bits with that cheap steak knife.
He could never go back there.
Why does she hate me?
The tears stung and he screwed his fists into his eyes.
He felt hands on his shoulders.
He sniffed, and wiped his eyes away.
What do we do now?
Somehow he could feel hope stir in his breast.
She grinned at him, and with it that strange energy that surrounded her seemed to blaze brighter.
She was just a little homeless girl, but she was also a magical being.
In his heart, he knew this.
We go on a quest!
she concurred, We seek the land forgotten by time and lost to hunger and woe.
We seek the highest zenith.
We seek Seventh Heaven!
There we shall both be safe forevermore, and only you have the power to gain ingress!
You mean my apartment?
He said, dumbstruck.
The other kids called his apartment Seventh Heaven.
He didnt know why, except that it was number seven.
Close, She told him, winking slyly.
The real Seventh Heaven is above.
They think no one knows, but I know.
Who are you really, Ashe?
He asked her in a hushed voice.
She smiled at him and said, Me?
I am Lady Ashtara, Queen of the Elves!
Can you do it?
Hunger gnawed at his stomach, terrible and constant.
He believed it was real because she told him it was real.
She pretended to be a queen, but she was Jakes queen for real.
They stopped at his front door.
Or so he thought.
He turned to Ashe and found her smiling again, with the key in her hand.
She grinned enigmatically and whispered, simply, Magic!
Ashe turned the key over to Jake, and Jake used it immediately to enter the apartment.
Every light in the house was on and all the doors and cabinets stood wide open.
The place was torn apart.
His mother was nowhere to be seen.
His heart was pounding.
How do we get there?
Jake asked, his voice still hushed for fear that a loud enough noise would summon his knife-wielding mother.
It dawned on him that he knew the answer.
At the time he was fascinated by the door on the ceiling.
What could be up there?
His mother told him that under no uncertain terms did she want him messing with that door.
Now he knew, it was the way to Seventh Heaven.
When they got there, everything would be okay.
Mothers room was silent and the overhead light chased all the shadows away.
Ashe held his hand and led him there as if she had always known the way.
Who was this girl, Ashe, really?
He kept asking her and she would always tell him.
But she never told him anything real.
He knew there was something special about her, something magical.
He knew the answer would be in Seventh Heaven as well.
She stood on his shoulders, though she was almost a head taller than him.
She seemed to weigh almost nothing.
Together they were just tall enough to reach the pull string.
She yanked at it and told him to step back.
A ladder slowly descended from above.
A light shone through the portal, brilliant and blazing.
The sight of it did not hurt his eyes.
He began to climb, up and up.
He could hear the music and it, too, was beautiful.
Jake emerged into Seventh Heaven amid a vast banquet held in his honor.
All around him were other children just like Ashe, with that same glorious energy and warmth.
They welcomed him, and all partook in the feast.
Jake ate his fill, ate near to bursting.
After which he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
He truly thought himself in paradise, even to the end.
When the police found him in that tiny attic crawlspace, he was like a withered and ancient mummy.
That he had starved to death was plain to see.
It had happened slowly, over a space of weeks, until he finally succumbed.
His mother escaped the justice of the law only by meeting a far more violent fate.
They found what was left of her in bed, black and red and putrid.
She looked like a Halloween Decoration left in poor taste.
Her flesh was nearly gone, it had been all but chewed away.
The letter had been crumpled into a loose ball and thrown into the wastebasket.
Morbid curiosity led him to read the letter.
Hey kid,
Its me, Monica.
Dont you recognize my shitty handwriting?
Sorry for the weird paper email.
Like, what year is it?
I dont think Ill send this to you.
I think I just have to write my thoughts so I can get them out of my head.
Know what I mean?
Of course you dont.
Im freaking out, Kait.
No, not Jakey.
He wanted to be called Jake from now on because hes eight.
I think that was really him that said that.
I think it was.
Stop beating around the bush.
Just come out and say it.
Why is this so hard?
OK, so let me explain.
It still looks like him.
Most of the time it looks just like him.
Thats what really scares me, because I might have to (scribbled out).
I dont mean that.
But its not him, Kait.
Sometimes it looks at me with this awful expression.
Like were sharing a secret, but isnt it so fun?
Sometimes it looks at me and its eyes are just empty black holes.
Its worse, somehow, knowing that he could seem normal one moment, feral the next.
But when hes back I always make myself believe its for good.
It just never really is.
I know youre reading this and youve already decided to call the loony bin on me.
I want to be crazy, I wish I was crazy.
If it means Jake is okay, Id rather be crazy.
But Im so scared.
Im scared Im not crazy.
Im scared Im going to have to hurt it.
Before it decides to hurt me again.
Its gone now, but I know it will come back.
See, I think I know the secret it thinks we share.
It knows I know its a fake.
It knows theres nothing I can do about it, that no one would believe me.
Thats why Im trapped.
It can look just like Jake again and so no one will believe me that its not.
Do you believe me, sister?
You have to believe me.
Remember the summer of the frogs?
Think about that summer and maybe give your big sister the benefit of the doubt.
I think everything was fine when I broke up with that idiot, Shawn.
He was happy to move into the new place, The Lyndon.
I put him to bed but I already knew there was something wrong with him.
It just got worse from there.
He, my boy, my Jake, he became a thing.
Ive given up trying to pull that shit out of its teeth.
It eats all the time, like it cant ever get enough to eat.
It ate everything in the cupboard, and I am flat broke for the rest of the week!
When it thinks Im not looking, itll eat a cockroach right off the ground.
Thats not the worst, either.
Kait, this is the truth.
I found him one night after he had finally returned from one of his little jaunts.
Did I tell you that?
He has his own key and he just disappears for hours.
I have no idea where he goes.
I found him in the bathroom with blood running down his mouth and splattered all over his shirt.
I thought he was dying until I found his dinner cast aside on the floor.
It was a RAT!
It was a goddamn, stinking, sewer rat.
It looked like he had torn it open with his fingers.
It made me puke, Kait.
All over my work shoes.
The sound woke him up of some trance and he just kind of snapped his eyes up at me.
They were empty black again.
They were darker than the darkness of the room.
He lunged at me, all dirty fingernails and teeth, snarling.
I ran, Kait.
I know what you must think, I know.
I just couldnt be there.
I couldnt be in there with it any more, so I ran.
Another one of his jaunts.
