How do you know what love is, will be, will become?
Or if it will hurt?
But thats the beautiful thing.
Allef Vinicius
By
Updated 8 years ago,October 20, 2017
My cell phone rings.
It rings, and yet it doesnt.
The screen lights up with a name and before I can swipe to answer, the screen darkens again.
I pause, holding the little phone in my hand.
I watch a squirrel dance between two trees, another chasing closely behind.
And I think about how f*cking hard love is.
Allef Vinicius
How do we know weve found love when weve found it?
How can we be so sure were on the same page?
How can we stop worrying, and just find out as we go?
And what if it all goes to sh*t?
He whispers something in her ear, I hear the word sexy, and I blush for her.
Shes a pretty girl, a young girl, a happy girl.
And Im happy for her.
Its amazing how love can make us lose our other senses sometimes.
Its beautifully scary, isnt it?
When we fall in love, that other person becomes everything to us, almost like airessential.
And that flirts the line of dangerous.
But yet, we desire it anyways.
We want to be wanted.
We desire to be loved.
And as humans, we need to be needed.
Our connection is at the very core of our being.
I look down at my phone again.
Three minutes and no return call.
I press the redial and suck in a breath as the line rings.
The voicemail kicks in.
I contemplate leaving a message, but I left one earlier and dont want to seem too desperate.
Isnt this the way we always are when it comes to matters of the heart?
I put my phone down, turn back to the essay I was reading.
The older couple shifts on their park bench seat.
Hes wearing thick-rimmed glasses and checkerboard pants.
I know hes reading his wife something in his scratchy, tired voice.
I wonder if this couple ever doubted their love.
And now here they were, through years and failures and brokenness and joystill embodying love.
How do you know if someones right for you?
How do you know what youre getting yourself intoif you should step forward or run?
How do you know what love is, will be, will become?
Or if it will hurt?
But thats the beautiful thing.
You free fall.And somewhere along the way, it all makes sense.
