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Updated 7 years ago,November 7, 2017
You think Im happy because I keep everything inside.
I dont go around posting statuses about my personal life on social media.
I dont give strangers on line at the grocery store my life story.
Unsplash / Vanessa Serpas
I keep my pain to myself.
I dont bother other people with my problems.
I know that there isnt anything they can do to solve the situations that Im going through.
By telling them what has been on my mind, Ill only be weighing them down.
Giving them something else to stress about.
And I dont want anyone to worry about me.
Unsplash / Vanessa Serpas
I dont want anyone to think of me as lost, as helpless, as troubled and beaten andbroken.
I smile when I am supposed to smile.
I laugh when I am expected to laugh.
Sometimes I even forget about my own problems.
I can lie to myself until everything feels like it is okay again.
Of course, the charade never lasts for long.
Small things will remind me that I am not, in fact,okay.
When I see a couple holding hands, I remember that I am bound to fall asleep alone again.
When I see a family seated together at a restaurant, I remember how broken mine has become.
I remember that every time that I smile I am playing a game and not facing reality.
There are so many things that should make me smile through the tears.
