The relationships that scare me these days are the ones that hurt.
But the one that will heal me.
The ones where I suddenly have something to lose.
Freestock
Its not one that plays often, it was one of those rare finds you came across.
We were at its whim.
Like puppets and love the puppeteer.
Freestock
And it wasnt just three words mumbled at bedtime.
It was so much more.
The little things that made me fall for you so fast and so hard.
Waking up to roses sitting on the kitchen.
And I asked you how you knew.
You pulled me in kissing my forehead because I asked you drunk the night before.
Jealous of anyone that stole time that wasnt with each other.
You paid the whole bill.
Mornings waking up and you pulling me in.
Like whatever was going on outside this world we created didnt matter.
Tangled between sheets and this place we didnt want to leave.
It amazed me what love could do to someone.
2 AM a candle lit the dark kitchen as you asked me to slow dance.
And I laughed as you spun me.
Everything about me and the expectations I had was cliches and over the top but you met me there.
You met me in moments as we laughed and screamed feeding birds on Sunday by the bay.
You met me in moments of confusions as I needed arms to hold me.
You met me the moment I needed someone like you most.
Grabbing my pinky as we stumbled home on cobbled streets.
Watching each other across the club out of the corner of our eye.
There was a confidence we had in each other where jealousy wasnt a factor.
And Im usually a very jealous person.
Because I believed it too.
Youre too young and its too unrealistic, people would say.
You fight for each other but towards the end, I was fighting alone.
I would have fought for you until I had nothing left in me.
I think I did.
But you stop trying when its a lost cause.
Sleeping only to escape because thats the only time living doesnt actually hurt.
Replaying what was real and what wasnt.
You taught me what love was.
But you also taught me what it can turn into when love runs out.
I grew to fear love as much as I wanted it.
Pinning after something I once knew but also running from it.
Clinging to strangers who touched me the way you did but they didnt know me.
Emotional connections with people I knew couldnt be more.
