You weren’t old enough to pass away peacefully in your sleep.
You weren’t even close to the age where a phone call about your death would be expected.
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Updated 11 months ago,May 31, 2024
Ive cried over you.
Unsplash / Freestocks
Ive been to your funeral.
Ive watched your loved ones crumble to pieces in front of me.
But those memories dont feel real.
It feels like youre just away on vacation.
Like youre out of town.
Like youre going to be back eventually, so theres no reason for me to worry.
Unsplash / Freestocks
You werent old enough to pass away peacefully in your sleep.
You werent even close to the age where a phone call about your death would be expected.
That youre finally at peace.
Those cliches make zero sense, because you were never suffering.
You didnt do anything to cause your death.
You didnt drink yourself to death.
You didnt encourage the reaper to come find you.
You didnt do anything wrong this time.
Your death still doesnt feel real, because it wasnt supposed to happen this way.
You werent supposed to pass away before your own dad did.
You werent supposed to put your family through this kind of pain.
Yourdeathstill doesnt feel real, because its the most unfair thing Ive ever experienced.
You died, even after saving yourself.
You died, even after turning your life around.
Your death was complete and utter bullshit.
Its bullshit that such a strong, kind heart stopped beating.
Your death still doesnt feel real, because you werejustthere.
You were just texting my mother.
You werejustplanning to see your father.
You werejustin the present tense and I cant stomach the thought of you being reduced to the past tense.
I cant stomach the thought of never seeing you again.
Your death still doesnt feel real, because I dont let myself think about it.
I try not to remember the words your family said during the funeral.
I try not to imagine the way you must have looked as you were taking your last breaths.
Yourdeathstill doesnt feel real, because it cant be real.
Something this shitty cant be real.
I dont want to believe that the world is so cruel.
That its so unforgiving.
As much as I make a run at deny it, youre really gone.
And I dont know how Im ever going to deal with that.
