GEMINI: Youre quite the sour gummy worm.
Have you ever eaten a Kit Kat bar?
How about a Snickers?
Alexandru Zdrobău
Or a Reeses peanut butter cup?
What about a bag full of M&Ms?
The answer is YOU.
You rescue kittens from trees.
You catch babies as they fall from burning buildings.
Where there is darkness, you initiate the shades and let the light in.
Alexandru Zdrobău
You are one sweet treat.
Though you are named after the bull, most of the time youre more like a lamb.
You live and let live.
You leave people alone and only get in a bad mood when they wont leave you the hell alone.
You smile and say hi to everyone you meet, even if you hate their guts.
You are sweetest around babies and petsso sweet, it can give innocent bystanders a toothache.
The warmer the weather, the warmer your disposition.
The opposite applies to cold weather.
The more sunlight, the lighter your mood.
When it gets dark outside, it also gets dark inside you.
When youre sweet, its like a big fat sugar cream pie.
When youre sour, though, its like guzzling a bottle of apple cider vinegar.
You give back as good as you get.
You are sweet to those who are nice to you but sour to those who give you attitude.
Self-pity radiates from you like a foul odor.
Oh, did you break a fingernail again?
And your car insurance rates went up 9%?
And Netflix dropped your favorite series?
And the local delis chicken salad sandwich doesnt taste as good as it used to?
But did you really have to post about it all on Facebook?
Youre not even sour so much as you arewhiny.
If its a sunny day, youll worry aboutskin cancer.
If its a rainy day, youll complain that its not sunny.
Ay yi yi, Mopey Molly, you gotta take the self-pity down a notch.
And quit being so touchy.
Put some sugar in your gas tank, honey, because youre way too sour.
Trust meno one wants to hear your problems.
Oh, look at the poor, poor, moody, brooding goat.
What an awful life you have.
Theres a reason youre eating alone.
Youre quite the sour gummy worm.
Everyone can actually see the clouds over your head.
If sulking were an Olympic event, youd be aGold Medalwinner.
Turn that frown upside down before all your friends gotta smack a bitch!
Youre ruining the fun for everyone.
Stop dragging the rest of us down.
If you dont stop, wed all prefer if you were to just go home and cry.
Would anyone think that cockroaches and spiders are sweet?
Well, same goes for scorpions.
And WOW, are you sour in the morning.
Its a good rule to never speak to you until at least three hours after you wake up.
